And then, there was one.
Yep, Hayden is back in school. After providing daycare for an infant most of the summer- Henry and I, are getting some quality one on one time. Or drive mama batty time. He is the polar opposite of Hayden. I can throw anything I learned parenting my 1st child “out the window.” He is a wild, funny BUT quiet kid. Yep he’s two. A tantrum prone and bordering on bi-polar toddler. One might think one kid would be easy, after a summer of caring for three kids. But no. Henry is living it up and loving life. And even though the temperature dropped, he is why I am still sweating.
Sneaky, Smart and Silent
He has only recently started talking but apparently knows his alphabet and numbers already because he SHOWED us. Seriously? I can’t help but laugh. I can’t take credit for this bit of academics. In his years of silence, he just listened and observed ALOT, i guess. This is problematic. He really keeps me on my toes. Last week, he sat down and rented himself Spiderman on OnDemand and yesterday unscrewed light bulbs from my lamps (trust me, I am never far from him- he is just that quick, in that much trouble and ninja-like quiet.)
So after I experienced a really sh*^%y morning battling a basement issues and painful night of TRX ( am I really paying for this torture with suspended straps?) I decided… I would like to be two again. I would like to just be able to solve my problems like a toddler and feel satisfied with my decisions.
Henry’s Top 10 guide to being a successful toddler & problem solving.
1. Don’t like the food? Just throw it on floor. Then, move to brother’s seat and take his food. There is a person called “mum” who cleans this place. Problem solved.
2 Bored? Pull ALL stickers out of Lego Movie Collector’s Book and stick in various places around house. It really accentuates the freshly painted walls. Problem solved
3. Bored, while in car? Smuggle in a pen, draw all over yourself, and then break, said pen. Ink is fun. Problem solved.
4. Diaper irritating you after nap-time? Just remove and pee all over mattress and wall. Problem solved.
5. Hmmmmm… what to do outside? I’ve mastered this play-set stuff months ago. Let’s add rocks to car rims and down window wells. When this “mum” lady runs towards me…whip a rock at her. Problem solved.
6. Grocery shopping. GRRRR. Being strapped in this cart sucks and everyone should suffer my wrath. I will scream and spit-for a full hour. These big people will comfort me and give me cheese. Problem solved.
7. Diaper changes take too long….but this pee pee thingy is great….I must touch it. Problem solved.
8. These wipes are just too wet….They must all be removed (works just like those tissues in the silly boxes) one-by-one, so they dry.I will scatter them all around the house. Problem solved.
9. Gate-Schmate….I can scale this. Problem solved.
10. Brother makes you made? Punch him in the face. Or bite. It works. Problem solved.
I could go on and on- It could be a weekly column. Or vlog series. I think once Henry begins to talk more he might actually have a Stewie from Family Guy accent. However after the bad day I had as an adult, I think I would trade places. At least today I would have, because despite all his craziness, he is one happy, funny, adventure-seeking and creative kid. Well,that is when he is not throwing a tantrum.
What was the craziest or funniest thing your toddler did? Share with us! We’d ♥ to laugh with you!
Next week, Melissa from Home on Deranged my partner in #TrueTales blogging will be back!
PLUS! stay tuned for the #ClashoftheCouples cover reveal on September 17th
PLUS! Upcoming review and giveaway for Monster Box AND the NEW Alpha & Omega DVD!