Welcome back to True Tales from the Pink & Blue Trenches, a Thursday series co-hosted by the fabulous Melissa from Home On Deranged. Each week, we choose a new topic and then compare notes on differences and similarities of raising toddler and pre-school boys vs. girls. This week it’s my turn!
With the boys birthdays I have reflected about how I changed over the last four + years since becoming a mom. The evolution of this mommy has been pretty steady and amazing to look back on. These are some of my mom lessons learned.
I don’t have all of the answers- some days I have none of them.
I am sorry. Family, friends, bloggers I judged you. Since I became a mother about 5-10 years later than most parents (my age) I had ample time to do this. If you are lucky, I did this silently. I felt very “researched.” However when my little bundle of joy arrived, I realized quickly there is no “right way” to do most things. You can more often find a wrong way- when it is your actual children.
My boys presented me with challenges that I hadn’t considered. They were unique and not textbook scenario. AND I do sometimes have THOSE kids…I so shockingly stared at for their bad behavior in Target and swore I would NEVER have.
I once hoped that the Super Nanny would magically appear, because honestly needed a break from losing battles with the kids.
I can’t love more.
Love for my children was instant. It radiated from me. It is expanded the love I felt for my husband. They are a walking, breathing reminder of love. A piece of my heart on the outside. Even on the worst of days, when I just want to run and hide, but then realize my house is too small for that… I am simply in awe of my capacity to love them more.
That being said, I think this month I decided two children might be plenty. I am tired. It’s just “tired enough” that I cannot imagine being any more tired 🙂
I think Henry may have broken mommy.
I still need to feel pretty and have “me time.”
The other day I saw a picture of my pre-mommy days. I wondered if I had rapidly aged because of having these children. Then I realized, it has become easy for me to forget to do things for myself. As a SAHM, I have little spending money that does not go to sporting equipment or to replace outgrown shoes. I am going to work harder to feel better. I spent Saturday night painting my nails and started a new make-up free (due to horrible horrible chemicals in make-up) moisturizing regimen of Argon oil and Vitamin C serum. I am considering a new haircut. I am doing small things for myself for MY overall well being. I believe even a little effort may have a huge family impact.
Dad gets closed door bathroom sessions (Kind of. As evidenced by this photo.) I am going to start to at least meditate (or hide and read a magazine) on the toilet if I have too.
I lost my cool factor.
I spend all of my money on milk ($4.29 per multiple gallons per week-yikes) and on recipes to avoid eggs. I rock a fine mommy ponytail and buy fewer fashionable things for me. This is okay, you probably don’t want to go out with me. First of all, I talk about my kids non-stop. Sorry, but Disney Jr is my channel and I converse with a four year-old all day long. Our hot topic is Legos and Spiderman. I find the news too scary and depressing. I also yawn uncontrollably from blogging late at night during in my off-kid time- so yeah… that is who I am now. Someday I will be interesting to another adult. Henry, at least finds me semi-cool.
I can’t do everything.
I have to remind myself of this. Some days if I shower and get the kids dressed I need to chalk it up as a win. I have been far too obessive on my mental must-do’s. Self imposed deadlines. I can’t even imagine being a WAHM or working mother. They are my heroes. My sister might believe I have nothing but endless facebook time but most days I don’t sit down- I fall down to sleep.
These are the years I will eventually miss, when my children no longer want to hang out with me. So just forgive me if you stop by and there are crumbs on the carpet… I remembered to feed my kids√ and now we are outside blowing bubbles.
Most days I learn the most from observing and talking to my children. I try to cherish every new found insight. However I am a dabbler by nature- a jack of all trades and master of none. I love to learn, even if most of my day is spent speaking in rhymes and repetitively saying the alphabet.
If you told me five years ago I would be developing interests in SEO, social media analytics and basic coding, I might believe you. However if you said, you will learn how to make your own household cleaners, health/beauty products and find the *benefits of essential oils fascinating- I would look at you funny. Make what? I am becoming very passionate about reducing my family’s everyday chemical exposure- especially in regards to my children. I cannot wait to become well-versed enough to actually blog about this. My next project will be a DIY Body butter & scrub and I really look forward to it!
I even recently investigated cloth diapering Henry for an upcoming post (which at 23 months he found to be very interesting) and although, I won’t switch over at this point- was a truly amazing subject to delve into.
Who have I become?… Fun making cleaning products and cloth diapers? Seriously? Yes.
*For now on the subject of essential oils, I will direct you to CreatedForHealing her information is SO valuable, eye-opening and definitely worthwhile. She will be guest posting soon! I have included her info on my sidebar simply because I am so impressed by her knowledge. This is a personal endorsement, not a sponsored post blurb :-)
How have you evolved as a parent? What valuable lessons have you learned? Please share! Make sure to join us next week when Melissa describes her mommy evolution!
Wait….stop by & visit Melissa today, she always has lots of laughs in store for you!